I’ve been quiet on the blogging front as of late being that I’ve suffered a death in my family.  This would be the death of one of my older brothers, something that none of us saw coming and the timing of when he died as well as how we found out is on the 9th anniversary of our mother’s death.  To be quite honest  I haven’t known how to feel and if I had to describe how I’m feeling right now, it would be mostly numb.  I had a little bit of feeling yesterday morning when I had some inspiration to write some music. Other than that, I’ve just been trying to occupy my mind be it with mindless entertainment, work, or something else, but there’s one thing that I am both remembering and re-learning throughout all of this. You cannot under any circumstance bottle your grief or sadness in, doing so sets you up for destruction.

This is a hard time in my life, the life of my family and of my brothers 2 sons.  While this will be harder on some than it is on others, I would encourage all of you that may read this post to know that you need support, you cannot live this life alone and the support you need isn’t just from your fellow man, but from God.  I am a Christian, I’m not ashamed to say it, and I’m not ashamed of my beliefs, and I firmly know that God is really helping me to keep myself together right now in a situation in which I feel like I should be much more of a mess.

But you also need support from your fellow man. Understand that you need to be selective about who is in your”inner circle” because those are the people that will be there for you the most when you have need and will always love and care for unconditionally.  While I love and miss my brother, I do know that with the things we had in common, he would want me to keep living and keep on progressing towards a positive life, so that’s what I’m going to do.

  1. #1 by Cousin Basil on January 14, 2012 - 10:06 am

    Eloquently stated cousin!

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