When Support Doesn’t Exist

What happens when you need support from people but find that it’s not available?  Do you go back and remind those that you’ve supported in the past of how you’ve supported them in hopes that they will support you now that you need it?  No, you don’t.  Do you go out and seek a new support system to help you in your time of need?  No, you don’t.  Do you give up because you don’t have the support that you may need or desire because without that support it will be hard, make that close to impossible to get what you need done?  NO, YOU DON’T!!!

So then what do you do?  You keep pressing forward regardless as to if you have the support or not because one of the things that are common with all Dream Achievers, Champions, Successful People is that they specialize in making what’s supposed to be impossible for them possible.

Now let’s go to why I answered no to the questions above:

  • Do you go back and remind those that you’ve supported in the past of how you’ve supported them in hopes that they will support you now that you need it?  If you have to go remind those that you’ve supported of the support that you gave them in order to try and get support from them, then you don’t need their support because this type of person that won’t support you in whatever way they can when you have done so for them is s selfish person.  I believe Oprah Winfrey said the following, “If they won’t ride the bus with you that they don’t need to ride in the limo with you.”  In other words, if they refuse to be there when you are building your success they don’t need to be their to enjoy the spoils of your success.
  • Do you go out and seek a new support system to help you in your time of need?  Going out to build a new support system is good but when you’re in the middle of the pursuit of your dream/goal and support isn’t there, you have to learn how to be like King David in the Bible, encourage and support yourself , “But David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.” -1Samuel 30:6  David was in an impossible situation.  He and his army just came back a conquest to find that their homes were burned and their families were taken.  When his men thought about stoning him because of this he had no man to turn to but found that he could encouraged himself in the Lord his God.  For some people who are Christian this is a viable option, for others it may not be.  But whether you’re a Christian or not, there are times in which you have to learn to encourage and support yourself  and if you don’t believe in God then I would say you should use your desired end result as a support and encouragement for you when no one else is there to help you.  Besides, trying to build a new support system from the ground up can be very time consuming and cause you to waste time that could have been spent achieving what you set out to achieve.
  • Do you give up because you don’t have the support that you may need or desire because without that support it will be hard, make that close to impossible to get what you need done?  If you give up because of a lack of support, then the goal was never that important to you in the first place.  Don’t allow a dependence on people stop you from doing something that means a lot to you.

If there’s only one lesson to take from this it would be this, sometimes you have to be your own support system in order for you to achieve what it is that you are pursuing.

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  1. #1 by RJE on November 22, 2011 - 8:36 am

    This post couldn’t have come at a better time, Haneef. As of late, I have been feeling as though I need constant reinforcement and encouragement from peers, family members, etc. However, I realize that true growth and development of whatever I have my sights set on comes from within myself and is driven by my own desire and motivation. Like you said, if the support system isn’t there, or whatever reasons, ultimately, you must be your own support system (which in many cases, can be the best support you can get!).

    • #2 by Haneef on November 23, 2011 - 9:16 am

      Ryan, while getting reinforcement and encouragement from peers, family, and friends are important I have had to personally learn that sometimes this type of encouragement and reinforcement becomes a dependency in which you can’t do anything that you want to do, reach any goal that you set out for without someone else’s encouragement, which then in turn becomes a bondage point because a persons encouragement then turns into needing that same person’s approval before you proceed with doing something with YOUR life. This is a lesson that some of us have to learn the hard way. As you know of me, from your time in my classroom, I would rather people learn from my (as well as others) experiences so they don’t have to repeat the hard lessons that are totally unnecessary if you are willing to listen.

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