Archive for November, 2011
Sometimes the things that get you mad the most are the things that matter the least.
And sometimes you have to let go of people you don’t want to let go of for the better of both of you.
If you really want to discover the faults that exist in a person, look in the mirror and identify your own.
Don’t obsess over money you don’t have, people who don’t want you, or someone else’s achievements in life. Obsession of things that are not yours leads to misery finding a home within you.
Never let any man or woman be in the drivers seat of your life, dreams and goals.
Love the ones around you while you can because you never know when they’ll no longer be here.
Anyone that knows me knows that I’m not a gym rat nor do I have the physique of a body builder, but there is one thing I’ve learned and learned really well, good nutrition is key in you being able to succeed in anything. Now anyone that’s ever read this blog should know that there’s always more than meets the eye with many of the titles to my posts, and this one is no different. Good nutrition allows your body to have lasting energy to function throughout the day, enabling you to be the best you can possibly be. But just like your body isn’t the only thing that needs good nutrition, your mind does as well. What are you feeding your mind? If all you’re feeding your mind is Television and Video Games, then it’s no wonder why you aren’t able to optimize your full potential. If all you are feeding your mind are books and learning related items, you’ll find yourself even more stagnated than the person who only consumes Video Games and Television.
I bet that won’t make a lot of sense to some of you, but it’s true. Let’s take a look at physical nutrition for a moment. If all you ever ate was meat all day, every day, then your body would be missing essential nutrients that it needs to rebuild, repair, and create new cells; combat disease; and regulate the energy that you need in order to function let alone be successful. On the other hand, if all you do is eat vegetables all day (and I know that there will be some Vegans and Vegetarians that will disagree but I’m not coming after your lifestyle, I’m just stating a fact of science) and nothing else, you will still be missing essential nutrients that your body needs to function. Your physical diet needs balance to function optimally and so does your brain.
If all your mind consumes is pleasure then you will never know how to solve problems and be serious when the time is needed and if your mind only consumes books and intellectual puzzles so that everything is always serious, then you’ll never know how to relax and be social when the time comes. It all boils down to 1 thing; good nutrition; be it physical or mental is all about achieving that correct balance for your body and mind. When you do that you’ll find that things will be a lot easier for you.
Many of us have heard the saying that you are what you eat, but I beg to differ. You are what you choose to consume, and retain as your body will always expel what you eat, your mind will always retain what you consume.
When I was an Undergraduate at the University of Hartford the last place I wanted to find myself was in the library as I was a performance major who just wanted to play all of the time. Now that I’m in a different place I decided to visit the libraries at the University of Hartford today and said to myself, wow, I was such an idiot! I say that because as an adult who loves learning and is always trying to consume relevant knowledge to me I realize what a wealth of information that these libraries are, not just the University libraries, but the Public Library in my town. Part of this equation is that sometimes when you’re in the middle of something, you don’t appreciate it as much as once you’re done with it, and no longer need it. I can tell you now, for the phase in life that I’m in, as long as I live where I live, I will take full advantage of the University and Public Libraries.
Yesterday I wrote about a post titled When Support Doesn’t Exist that spoke about the reality that most people face which is that you won’t always have someone there to support and encourage you when you need it. Well in light of that post and what I’ve written in the paragraph above, when you find that you don’t have the support that you need, you should take a serious look at the resources around you that you might have taken for granted at some point in time as these resources could be very useful to you; especially during a time of low to no support. For me, I’ve discovered a whole new world in the Libraries that are around me, a world that is going to support me through my current adventure and help me get to where I want and need to be.
So take a look around. I bet there are some resources out there that you’ve previously ignored that are just waiting for you to pay attention to them.
What happens when you need support from people but find that it’s not available? Do you go back and remind those that you’ve supported in the past of how you’ve supported them in hopes that they will support you now that you need it? No, you don’t. Do you go out and seek a new support system to help you in your time of need? No, you don’t. Do you give up because you don’t have the support that you may need or desire because without that support it will be hard, make that close to impossible to get what you need done? NO, YOU DON’T!!!
So then what do you do? You keep pressing forward regardless as to if you have the support or not because one of the things that are common with all Dream Achievers, Champions, Successful People is that they specialize in making what’s supposed to be impossible for them possible.
Now let’s go to why I answered no to the questions above:
- Do you go back and remind those that you’ve supported in the past of how you’ve supported them in hopes that they will support you now that you need it? If you have to go remind those that you’ve supported of the support that you gave them in order to try and get support from them, then you don’t need their support because this type of person that won’t support you in whatever way they can when you have done so for them is s selfish person. I believe Oprah Winfrey said the following, “If they won’t ride the bus with you that they don’t need to ride in the limo with you.” In other words, if they refuse to be there when you are building your success they don’t need to be their to enjoy the spoils of your success.
- Do you go out and seek a new support system to help you in your time of need? Going out to build a new support system is good but when you’re in the middle of the pursuit of your dream/goal and support isn’t there, you have to learn how to be like King David in the Bible, encourage and support yourself , “But David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.” -1Samuel 30:6 David was in an impossible situation. He and his army just came back a conquest to find that their homes were burned and their families were taken. When his men thought about stoning him because of this he had no man to turn to but found that he could encouraged himself in the Lord his God. For some people who are Christian this is a viable option, for others it may not be. But whether you’re a Christian or not, there are times in which you have to learn to encourage and support yourself and if you don’t believe in God then I would say you should use your desired end result as a support and encouragement for you when no one else is there to help you. Besides, trying to build a new support system from the ground up can be very time consuming and cause you to waste time that could have been spent achieving what you set out to achieve.
- Do you give up because you don’t have the support that you may need or desire because without that support it will be hard, make that close to impossible to get what you need done? If you give up because of a lack of support, then the goal was never that important to you in the first place. Don’t allow a dependence on people stop you from doing something that means a lot to you.
If there’s only one lesson to take from this it would be this, sometimes you have to be your own support system in order for you to achieve what it is that you are pursuing.
I’m a Christian, and as such I have a belief system that some, including myself at one point in time, have criticized as being a license for others to take advantage of you, but if you truly look at it, that’s not the case. Your beliefs are what will govern your conduct as well as teach you how you need to handle various situations that will arise in your life. The thing about beliefs however is that if they aren’t reinforced on a daily basis, they can erode and cause a duality of beliefs if you will in a person. I’ve seen this, and sadly am still seeing it, heck, that has been me as well and I’m not afraid to admit it. In fact, I don’t think you can find 1 person on this earth who has never been in this position at some point or another. While for some it’s a matter of thoughts needing to be reigned under control for others it’s thoughts, actions, attitudes, and whole ways of life that need to be re-established.
The erosion of beliefs is something you can see quite often if you are paying attention. People will “bend” their beliefs to try and fit in with the “popular” people. People will “bend” their beliefs to try and get the guy or girl that they want and the most common that I know of is people bending their beliefs in the pursuit of instant monetary riches. The problem with bending your beliefs just one time is that once you do it, you become very tempted to do it again and again and again, and pretty soon you find that you stopped bending your beliefs and have completely broken them to the point that they become unrecognizable. That’s when you tend to get in real trouble because once you have broken your beliefs you are now in a state of spiraling downward and can go to 1 of 3 very bad extremes:
- You begin looking for anyone or anything to believe in and never find what you are looking for because you forget that what you are really looking for is what you left behind in the first place.
- You begin to become so selfish that you forget about what it means to have a belief system to begin with.
- You spend so much time trying in “penance mode” that you forget what it means to live your original beliefs because you believe that the only way you can make up for straying away in the first place is by doing a bunch of works to satisfy something that works can’t satisfy.
Now there are those out there whose belief system is completely jacked up and need a complete overhaul because of how bad it is, but that’s not everybody and from my experience people that fit into this category are usually people who never had a firm belief system instilled in them to begin with.
I’m thankful that I’ve realized this for myself and come to the conclusions that I’ve come to. Bottom line for me is that I’m going to continue to give positive reinforcement to my beliefs so that I can truly live a life that’s worth living and that’s free of any guilt or contributory drama as possible.
Recently I posted a comment on one of my friends Facebook page that made me think about myself and what I was saying. I didn’t say anything bad or negative but when I read the comment it made me think about not only what I was saying, but how it may be received by others that know who I am but don’t really know me (not that I need another persons validation on what I say, but I’m not trying to have my words project an image of me that isn’t true either). The fact of the matter is that anyone who grew up outside of the age of Social Media knows that the idea that one statement, one picture, one status can be broadcast around the world in a matter of seconds would have said that this is impossible, but not anymore. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that Social Media can be a mirror to really show you who you are as well as who you are trying to be.
There are a lot of internet tough guys/girls out there that will act like they’re something that they are not because they feel like they can hide in anonymity behind their keyboards and say something online that they would never say to someones face. At the same time, you have a lot of people who find comfort and solace in the realm of social media because of the anonymity it provides as well as find a way to live their social lives vicariously through others. No matter where you fit on the spectrum of users of social media one thing is clear; if you take a look a good, hard, and honest look at some of your own postings in the various social media circles that you belong to, you will see a reflection of yourself. But my question to you is what reflection will you see? Will you see who you want to be? Who you wish you were? Or will you actually see yourself?
I was having a conversation with my brother Emmett Goods yesterday and he said something that has had me thinking since then, ” Releasing and Surrendering aren’t the same thing.” In light of the conversation I began to think about what it means to release and surrender. To give a little background about the conversation, my brother and I were talking about God and relationships. Sometimes you have to release (to relinquish or give up) to God people and relationships that have become toxic in your life. There are also times in which you have to surrender (to give oneself up to some influence or course) what it is you want or think is right to God even when all looks dire and like it will never work. I guess the problem for most of us is knowing when it’s to to release (people, places and things out of your life and into God’s hands) and when it’s time to surrender (the negative situations caused by people, places, and things without giving them up) to God and stand firm in your course of action.
Releasing and Surrendering are something that we all need to be able to do, and all need to know when to do it. Let’s just pray that we gain the wisdom to know when it’s time to release and when it’s time to surrender.