It’s been a couple of weeks since my last post which has not only given me a lot of new experiences to draw from, but some time to think. I’ve thought heavily on the next directions for my spiritual life (relationship with God); family; career; as well as dreams and aspirations. Some of these thoughts to be completely honest have made me question whether I should continue to pursue certain dreams and goals. Some have caused me to even think for (for an extremely brief moment) that I may not achieve some of my dreams and goals after all. Then I got back to my senses. There are 2 particular experiences that I’ve had recently, and the lessons to learn from them, that I want to highlight in this post. 2 of my friends have recently made some major progress in their vocational goals, progress that has been a part of what I’ve wanted in my life and have achieved in a very limited capacity as of now.
1 of my friends was just granted a position that he’s worked really hard for, and has desired ever since I’ve met him, this is a position that I too have desired but at this point in my life have not tried to pursue. When I heard the good news I was extremely excited for him. My wife (oh by the way, for those of you that have been reading my other posts, my wife and I are no longer getting a divorce and have been working things out for the better) asked me how I really felt about my friends achievement, as she knows that’s something that I’ve wanted as well and I told her that I am genuinely happy and very supportive of him and this pursuit. In fact, I wish him nothing but the best and want him to succeed in this new found position.
My other friend recently was hired to work at a position that was actually promised to me for 10 years. The reason I was told that I didn’t get it back then is because of a lack of money to fund the position. This friend of mine wasn’t seeking this position, it just kind of came to him. He’s very well deserving of the position and I spoke to him not only to congratulate him, but to offer him any assistance that I can in helping him with any issues that he’s not familiar with because I want to see him succeed. I told my wife about this great news and she once again asked me how do I really feel about this.
My response was that I’m genuinely happy for my friend and that I’ll do whatever I can to help him , but at the same time I was a little upset when I first heard the news. I wasn’t upset at my friend, I was upset that I received 10 plus years of lip service from people that I had just begun to respect again but at the same time, I didn’t expect them to live up to their word because they never have done so with me. I also told my wife that my motivation for helping my friend grow in this position is twofold, I want him to be the best version of himself that he can possibly be and I want the overall organization that he is now working for to benefit from such a wonderful person in their midst that is willing to do what it takes to help foster genuine growth and expansion.
There are a few common lessons with both situations. The first lesson is that you should always rejoice and be happy for those that you have allowed into your life that are achieving their dreams and goals, even if they are the same/similar to your own because that’s part of what being a good friend is all about. The second lesson is that if you truly want to achieve the same/similar dream even after seeing someone you know do it, ask them for advice as to how they got where they now are. It may be in part about who they know or being in the right place at the right time, but I guarantee you this, most of the time even if that is the case, your friends are probably very qualified to be where they are. The third lesson is this, NEVER and I mean NEVER be jealous of someone else’s success. This jealousy will poison not only your spirit, soul, and mind; reduce your chances of success at your chosen endeavor(s) to practically zero; but it will change you as a person into someone that you are not and were never meant to be, and I don’t mean that in a good way.
The 2 distinct lessons from situation #2 are these: First, know who you are dealing with at all times when it comes to the pursuit of your goals and dreams as there are some people out there that will give you plenty of lip service in an attempt to discover and crush your dreams and goals. Secondly, if you allow someone else the power to crush your dreams and goals, then they never really meant that much to you in the first place and it’s time to re-evaluate what it is that you truly want from life.
I hope that this post has not only been helpful but encouraging for you.