Archive for May, 2011

Recent Life Lessons

It’s been a couple of weeks since my last post which has not only given me a lot of new experiences to draw from, but some time to think.  I’ve thought heavily on the next directions for my spiritual life (relationship with God); family; career; as well as dreams and aspirations.  Some of these thoughts to be completely honest have made me question whether I should continue to pursue certain dreams and goals.  Some have caused me to even think for (for an extremely brief moment) that I may not achieve some of my dreams and goals after all.  Then I got back to my senses.  There are 2 particular experiences that I’ve had recently, and the lessons to learn from them, that I want to highlight in this post.  2 of my friends have recently made some major progress in their vocational goals, progress that has been a part of what I’ve wanted in my life and have achieved in a very limited capacity as of now.

1 of my friends was just granted a position that he’s worked really hard for, and has desired ever since I’ve met him, this is a position that I too have desired but at this point in my life have not tried to pursue.  When I heard the good news I was extremely excited for him.  My wife (oh by the way, for those of you that have been reading my other posts, my wife and I are no longer getting a divorce and have been working things out for the better) asked me how I really felt about my friends achievement, as she knows that’s something that I’ve wanted as well and I told her that I am genuinely happy and very supportive of him and this pursuit.  In fact, I wish him nothing but the best and want him to succeed in this new found position.

My other friend recently was hired to work at a position that was actually promised to me for 10 years.  The reason I was told that I didn’t get it back then is because of a lack of money to fund the position.  This friend of mine wasn’t seeking this position, it just kind of came to him.  He’s very well deserving of the position and I spoke to him not only to congratulate him, but to offer him any assistance that I can in helping him with any issues that he’s not familiar with because I want to see him succeed.  I told my wife about this great news and she once again asked me how do I really feel about this.

My response was that I’m genuinely happy for my friend and that I’ll do whatever I can to help him , but at the same time I was a little upset when I first heard the news.  I wasn’t upset at my friend, I was upset that I received 10 plus years of lip service from people that I had just begun to respect again but at the same time, I didn’t expect them to live up to their word because they never have done so with me.  I also told my wife that my motivation for helping my friend grow in this position is twofold, I want him to be the best version of himself that he can possibly be and I want the overall organization that he is now working for to benefit from such a wonderful person in their midst that is willing to do what it takes to help foster genuine growth and expansion.

There are a few common lessons with both situations.  The first lesson is that you should always rejoice and be happy for those that you have allowed into your life that are achieving their dreams and goals, even if they are the same/similar to your own because that’s part of what being a good friend is all about.  The second lesson is that if you truly want to achieve the same/similar dream even after seeing someone you know do it, ask them for advice as to how they got where they now are. It may be in part about who they know or being in the right place at the right time, but I guarantee you this, most of the time even if that is the case, your friends are probably very qualified to be where they are.  The third lesson is this, NEVER and I mean NEVER be jealous of someone else’s success. This jealousy will poison not only your spirit, soul, and mind; reduce your chances of success at your chosen endeavor(s) to practically zero; but it will change you as a person into someone that you are not and were never meant to be, and I don’t mean that in a good way.

The 2 distinct lessons from situation #2 are these: First, know who you are dealing with at all times when it comes to the pursuit of your goals and dreams as there are some people out there that will give you plenty of lip service in an attempt to discover and crush your dreams and goals.  Secondly, if you allow someone else the power to crush your dreams and goals, then they never really meant that much to you in the first place and it’s time to re-evaluate what it is that you truly want from life.

I hope that this post has not only been helpful but encouraging for you.

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Keep Pressing Forward, You’ll Get There

When you choose to pursue your dreams no matter what the obstacles are that present themselves before you, you will get there.  Today’s post is to share some exciting news as well as life lesson.  I’ve been pursuing one of my dreams, music, for quite a long time now and recently I’ve achieved some major milestones that I didn’t think were going to be possible for me when I was having a dark season with music.  I’ve recently become an endorser for R.S. Berkeley Musical Instruments playing their TP608 model Trumpet; FLU 669 model Flugelhorn, and CR611 model Cornet.  This is an exciting opportunity for me, and the guys over at R.S. Berkeley have really welcomed me into their family.  I’m also going to be playing at a Jazz Festival in Connecticut this summer with my own group, which is very exciting for me!  There are more good things on the horizon, but I’m going to wait until they get closer to mention them.

I wrote all of that to say that it’s very important to pursue your dreams no matter what roadblocks try to stop you on your journey because reaching/achieving your dreams and goals is exactly that, a journey.  Some of us take a few detours on the journey but don’t let the detours derail you from your final destination.  Just remember when it comes to your goals to put your plan together, map out some milestones for you to use as status points, and go out there and achieve your dreams!  So many good things will come out of this journey.  As for me and my journey, let me say that God never ceases to amaze me in how He is still working with and on me during my journeys of dream fulfillment!

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Use Your Voice

Today is a rather interesting day, for today I’m going to have a discussion/confrontation with someone who lied to me and that lie has cost me time, money, and creative effort.  There are some positives and negatives that can come from this conversation and the negatives are definitely not good but at the same time I’ve come to understand that you have to know when to stand up and not allow people, places, or institutions to just walk all over you because they feel they can and when to quietly say nothing and allow the injustices that can happen in your life to just pass you by.  In other words, you have to choose your battles carefully.  I have chosen to fight this particular battle today because this is something that is necessary but when I fight this battle, I will not be rude, disrespectful, or trying to inflict any harm on anyone.  What I will do is present the facts of my situation, allow the people I have to speak to to say their peace and then move on even if the outcome isn’t quite what I would’ve wanted or not.

This is truly something that I felt was very important to share today because I think that there are a lot of people out there that feel as if they don’t have a voice to express how they feel about the things in their life that are just plain wrong.  You do have a voice and you are free to exercise it whenever you choose; you just need to pick and choose when to exercise it.

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Make the Right Decision.

Right now, at this time in my life I find myself facing a set of rather interesting choices.  Do I walk through a door of reconciliation that is filled with annoyances, aggravation, lots of necessary hard work for a possibility of a good outcome or do I choose the door more often traveled with more of a measure of predictability?  Do I choose to hold nothing back and speak about the mistreatment of employees at an employer that employs me or do I choose to take the politically correct route and just tow the party line?

I already know the answer to these questions for myself, but I pose them as examples of questions in which I’ve had to come to the right decision instead of the easy decision.  Right isn’t always easy and the more difficult choice isn’t always right.  Each situation calls for an approach to resolution that is unique to that situation, so make sure that when you are faced with a tough situation that you really figure out, make, and follow through with the right decision as the wrong decision could cost you more than you’ll ever know.

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