Archive for March, 2011
Next week I’ll be writing a new series of posts that have been inspired by some conversations I’ve been having with a broad group of people next week. These post will define:
- What a leader is.
- What a manager is.
- What an employee is.
- What an employer is.
- What an entrepreneur is
- Why all 5 are need.
I have been (and still am in the case of a few of these categories) all of them and they all have their place. I hope that when you read these posts that we can have a conversation and exchange information so that we can better define who we are, what we want, and how we’re going to get it.
“Who you are is not a product of what you have as much as it is a result of what you believe about yourself and the world you live in.”
I wrote the quote above this morning on my twitter account and since I wrote it, it has had me thinking. Many of the failures that I’ve experienced in life have been a direct result of believing that I couldn’t do what it is I failed at and that the world around me along with the people in it were reaffirming this belief by the constant discouragement, taunting and images that said that someone like me could not be successful in areas that I tried to be successful in. While this may be the reality for several people, that doesn’t mean that you have to believe this about you. I had to come out of believing that I was who other people told me that I am and start believing what both God and myself had to say about who I am.
Understand that I’m all for getting feedback and opinions when they’re necessary but I don’t base my life or myself on them. I don’t want to sound like super mystical new age guru right now but there is some truth to receiving what you believe in. Maybe I’ll spend some time writing about the rest of this truth.
Have you counted the cost for your dream(s)? Do you place a value or a premium on your goals? Are you willing to sacrifice anything, even your morals and closely held beliefs to achieve your dreams and goals? I hope that you answered no to that last question as far too many people have answered yes and did whatever it took, no matter what the cost to achieve their dreams and goals. Let’s get 1 thing straight about dreams and goals; there is no dream or goal that is authentically yours that would ask, invite, or cause you to violate your morals or personal code of conduct. To go a little further, there is no temptation that is capable of making you do something that you shouldn’t do when you stand firm on what you believe and continue to walk in it regardless of what anyone else is doing. Truthfully the only reason why a temptation is tempting to a person in the first place is because it is something that they would want to, even lust to have when they know that they shouldn’t have it.
Every dream that I have (both those that have been fulfilled already and the one’s that are on their way to being fulfilled) do not and will not cause me to violate who I am and what I believe in order to achieve them. I don’t know how many people I’ve personally met and spoken to about this very subject that have said that they’ll do whatever it takes to get what they want no matter what the cost, shame or humiliation they just want what they want and no one is going to stop them. It is very important for your lasting success in anything in life to be a person of character and integrity, which only comes by having a moral and ethical standard that keeps you from crossing lines that you know you shouldn’t cross.
In a day and time in which so many people believe in situational ethics, I encourage you to be one of the people that sticks to their beliefs and will not bend in the pursuit of their dreams.
The value of a promise isn’t in the words that are spoken or is it in the fulfillment of the promise. Now I know that may sound strange as a promised fulfilled is a good thing but I have found that the true value of a promise is with the intention in which it was fulfilled. This realization comes from me making promises I was more than happy to make to someone, but when the time came to fulfill them we were not at a place where I wanted to do anything for them (although I did it anyway).
That said, although some may say it’s admirable that I fulfilled the promise anyway I say it’s not. It’s not because a promise fulfilled out of ones sense of obligation isn’t really worth as much as a promise fulfilled out of a persons sense of integrity and joy of completing their word. This experience has made me understand why I seldom promise anything to anyone outside of my son, as I don’t want to be in a place where the fulfilling of my promise is insincere and out of a sense of obligation instead of a place of joy and integrity.
What do you think the value of a promise is?
I have found that there are times when forgiveness is not enough. These times are:
- When trust has been broken.
- When someone has divested themselves of a relationship.
Once trust has been broken it’s not that easy to rebuild, but it is possible to do so. Rebuilding of trust only comes when there is a willingness and action to go along with that willingness to be transparent with who you are today and to maintain that transparency going forward. If this happens on a consistent basis there is hope that trust can be restored. Once the trust is restored the possibilities for what can happen next are endless.
When someone has divested themselves of a relationship it is hard for them to want to become re-invested. This is a hard thing because for someone to become completely divested means that they are depleted and have nothing left to give or don’t have a desire to give anymore. I can’t say that I know how a person goes from being divested to invested again as this is a very emotionally draining process in either direction. From my opinion and standpoint, only God can help a divested person become an invested person again.
I felt the need to write this because this seems to be a common theme with myself and people in my life. Not the clearest post I’ve written, but it comes from a very honest place and I hope that it’s helpful.
I was thinking about a work-related task when it dawned on me that just about everything that most people do everyday is because of a habit that was established in their life that reinforced the behavior that they do. Another word for habits would be patterns. It is said that it takes 21 days to make or break a habit, I don’t know how universally applicable that is but I do know this, if you want to change something about you you need to change or destroy and replace the established habit/pattern that causes you to do whatever it is you are trying to change.
Sometimes in our quest for the get-fixed quick idea of the day we ignore the simple but obvious fact. It reminds me of an old proverb that I heard a lot growing up, “If you want to hide something of great value hide it in plain sight where no one will look for it.” Books, Blogs, Internet, TV, or where ever else a person might go to seeking information can be helpful, but don’t forget that these are all sources of information for you to use as it is applicable in your life not how to guides that you follow verbatim.
So if you want to get to the root of what you need to make a change or to build consistency with something new in your life remember it all begins with the habits that you form to support the goal that you want to achieve.