Mother’s and Father’s –Society’s Perception of Fatherhood

(Before you read this please note that I have nothing against mothers, especially single mothers as I was raised by one).

I had an experience not too long ago that echoes a sentiment that I had after the birth of my son.    I took my son to a new Doctor with his (my son’s) mother for his first initial visit and once we were at the registration window, the nurse looks at his mother and asks for her name and personal information to list her as the “parent of record” as if I wasn’t there at all. 

It was similar to what I felt shortly after my son was born.  While there was a lot of attention being paid to his mother for medical reasons, when it came to speaking about parenting issues and general medical issues for newborn children, most of the hospital staff completely ignored me (keep in mind I didn’t leave the hospital until we all left the hospital which was about 15 days).   All of this has led me to one inescapable conclusion: Father’s are treated like crap from a social perspective when it comes to their perceived role as a parent.

This post isn’t me standing on my soapbox to complain, but it is about me bringing an issue to the forefront that doesn’t get the attention that I feel it deserves which is NOT ALL FATHERS ARE DEADBEATS WHO WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH THEIR CHILDREN!

I personally find fathers who chose to be boy enough to get in the bed with a girl/woman to have sex but not man enough to take care of the child that both the man and woman created together by having sex to not only be irresponsible but to be an immature example of a person that shouldn’t be having sex in the first place.  But ladies you aren’t off the hook either. 

Ladies, you shouldn’t allow just anyone into your bed to have sex with you to begin with.  If you are looking for love and acceptance; sex is not the answer.  If you are looking to cave in to a “boy” who wants you to have sex with them and is constantly pressuring, even threatening to leave you if you don’t have sex with them; sex is not the answer.  If every guy that you meet is able to get you into bed because you love to have sex so much not only is sex not the answer, but you don’t even understand the true meaning and purpose of sex to begin with.

There are a lot of responsible fathers out there that are either single dad’s or with the mother of their children.  So while there’s so much focus on men that choose not to be parents to the children that they created, let’s actually flip it and focus on the Dad’s who choose and want to be a Father to those children that they have created as well as adopted. 

I may sound a little fanatical with my next statement, but I wonder how Mother’s would feel if the world made a big fuss out of Father’s Day and minimized Mother’s Day (the way Father’s Day is minimized and Mother’s Day is exalted).  I needed to vent all of this because I am a man who loves his child and chooses to be the best man that I can be in order to be the best Dad that my child can have. 

So for all of you Father’s that choose to ignore your children I have 3 suggestions for you:

  1. Stop having sex so that you don’t leave a trail of fatherless children as a result of your selfish choices.
  2. If you’re going to continue to have sex because you just have to have it, sterilize yourself so you don’t have to worry about getting any girl/woman pregnant.
  3. Instead of ignoring your children try growing up, become a man, and be a Dad to the child(ren) you took part in creating.

 

As for the rest of us that choose to be Father’s who are present and raising their children; keep setting the right example and love your children as much and as hard as you can so that we can produce a responsible future generation that will not tolerate the Fatherlessness that we see today.

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